Potatoes are like the food version of cuddling: soft, warm, comforting, and good literally any time of day
George Carlin’s Back in Town (1996)
This man is, was, and will forever be a legend.
yesterday in the car my mom said “theres always the one gay twin out of a pair” and my twin brother and I shot a glance at one another because we’re both the gay twin
So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”
and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.
FIRST KISS: We asked twenty strangers to kiss for the first time…
"What’s your name again?"
I need to prove a point to my homophobic friend.I’m writing down the urls of everyone who reblogs this in a notebook, and will present it to my friend when it is sufficiently full.
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY Y EYE I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN AND THREW MY TRASH AT HER THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE
but not as embarrassing as getting mistaken for a trashcan
"Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven’t got a godfather!"
"Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad’s best friend. He’s a convicted murderer, but he’s broken out of wizard prison and he’s on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though… keep up with my news… check if I’m happy…"
How I’d get boys attention if I were Christina Aguilera
Vine by: Anna Clendening
Here we observe the feline displaying a rare, tender moment of appreciation for its slave
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
I totally remember watching this as a kid and thinking that looked like the most delicious biscuit/cookie in the world
when in reality was’t it a ritz cracker dipped in water?
THAT’S CREME A LA CREME A LA EDGAR YOU IGNORANT SLUT
every so often I sometimes get a mug of milk, add a splash of vanilla extract, a spoonful of sugar, and a sprinkle of cinnamon and heat it in the microwave and have it with Ritz Crackers and pretend it’s Creme A La Creme A La Edgar and it’s seriously just the best.
I JUST MADE THAT MYSELF AND AM CURRENTLY HAVING RITZ CRACKERS WITH IT AND LEMME TELL YOU THIS SHIT IS DELICIOUS
SOMEONE FOUND THE RECIPE TO CREME A LA CREME A LA EDGAR
Fandom foods are the best
dont forget the part where you pretend you’re having a really sad moment in the rain
And the period shower where you stand and watch the blood flowing down the drain as if you just got back from a war or brawl.
As a girl I can confirm that all of this happens.
Yes it does.
It really does
the penis people’s showers are so boring compared to this
Funniest blog on earth
*gossiping hair-dresser voice* Oh honey, don’t even get me started on my otp